"Step awaaaaaaayyy from the food!" Yes, he can't verbalize it, but that's what his little arm "check swing" means when you try to help him with it. He's very independent and wants to do for himself, especially with feeding. Also, he's used to some of the kids that he lived with reaching into his bowl. They're toddlers. They do that. I noticed in the children's home, when this happened, he wouldn't even look up. He just kept to business, with his eyes on his food and gave that little check swing. He's doing that much less here now. I hope he's realizing that there is no longer a need to protect his food, or anything else for that matter.
Now I don't want to give the impression that the kids didn't get enough to eat. On the contrary. They are fed very well. They have a typical hot chocolate and bread in the morning. A mid-morning snack, "papilla", that consists of fruit with yogurt or a drink called "colada" that I learned to prepare. I didn't want to change his diet drastically too soon. The colada is a flavored corn starch drink made with milk and water. It has LOADS of vitamins. I can see that this is how they supplement vitamins and milk. They make a big deal about his drinking his warm colada in the morning and afternoon. Then lunch is the biggest meal of the day in Ecuador. The kid's meals are quite healthy, made of soups and stocks from vegetables, legumes and meats or fish, flavored with mild herbs and spices. A mid-afternoon snack of fruit. I saw bananas, strawberries and apples when I was there. I didn't observe them eat dinner. But, I imagine it was quite healthy too. The kids are all quite robust and rosey cheeked.
On that note, let me just say how impressed I was at how much they follow hygiene there. This from the self professed clean freak. The kids were all kept clean. I even took note of the other children that were in different areas when we came across them, which was frequently. Their diapers were changed often. Their hands were washed before foods and their teeth were brushed after all major meals. I helped with that in Alejandro's house, and all the children had beautiful teeth. He reminds me of that all the time. He leads me to the bathroom towards his new Sponge Bob toothbrush after our meals. We taught him how to rinse his mouth with water and spit it out. He gives a big grin after doing so. He's so proud of himself.
The kids were bathed every day after morning snack, and their clothing changed. After dinner, they were changed again into footie pajamas, which interestingly, they put on backwards. I guess the toddlers pull eachother's zippers down when they're in the front. They looked like a bunch of cute little bunnies. I couldn't resist wanting to snuggle them up. Alejandro must think I'm doing it wrong, since his zipper is always in the front.
.............................
"Butt". That's my baby's first English word. Sigh. Sad but true. Jim was tickling Annie and said something about biting her bootie. She said, "Not my butt!" And he repeated, "Butt". Oh joy.
He loves the busses that zoom by outside. Everytime he hears one, he yells "Bu". No "T" at the end, thank goodness.
We keep hearing booms outside. I'm told that there are celebrations by churches for their Saints and that the celebrations include lighting fire works. It has to do with Carnavale coming up. So far, I'm told that Carnavale is not much more than a bunch of idiots throwing water balloons at strangers, and that it can get out of hand. Going to have to research that one some more. I don't know anything more about it, other than government offices will be closed and my process will extended by one week because of that. Gee, thanks.
Jim is dying to be back at work. Not that he doesn't think this is utterly important. But there are many pressing things that require his presence and attention there, and it is quite a hardship for him to be away so long. Some people just don't understand, or choose not to understand, that his family is important too. That in serving other people's family, his has needs too. And Alejandro is Family, with a capital "F". Others think that he is off on a joyride vacation. Seriously?!?! This is sooooo not! If we had been able to, we would have gladly picked him up and left back home. That's not an option. We are at the mercy of the Ecuadorian government and it's agencies as to when we could come and how long we must stay. Our process started long before his position. Were we supposed to just walk away from our child? Give me a break. Thankfully, there are those that understand and are stepping up to help fill in the gaps while he is gone.
Enough venting. Those of you who know me well, know I tell it like it is. Like it or not. It has gotten me in trouble over the years, especially in the military but at least I can always say my conscience is clear.
On a lighter note, we saw a small parade outside our window today...baby's crying...have to go. Will pick up again tomorrow.
Love,
Lisandra
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Day 8
Bronchitis! That's what poor little Annalise has. Her cold kept getting worse all afternoon Thursday and all day Friday. She had a low grade fever of 100. We kept her home from school. The symptoms didn't seem to subside with children's tylenol nor motrin. A couple of warm showers helped clear her out with steam. I'd maxed her out with children's sudafed and robitussin. Nothing.
The owner of the apartments offerred to call a doctor, but earlier in the day I thought this would get better with tincture of time, fluids and what I was giving her. It was obvious by 4pm, that it wasn't going to happen. She was a little lump on the couch and wouldn't take anything to eat nor drink. All day she had a little chicken broth and water, but nothing else. I even tried to bribe with her favorite mac and cheeze, but nope.
Jim had been nursing us both all day. Me with my horrible stomach cramps that doubled me over mid sentence over and over again. Her with her bad cold and now congested cough.
I went to the office and the staff member offerred to call a local doctor they know that sees their clients. He comes highly recommended. He charges $30 for an office visit and $35 for a house call....a...house...call??? Which would I like...uuuuummmmm...I'll...take...the...house...call?
Now I realize that $30 is a lot of money for your average person here. But that's about what I pay for a copay back home for a specialist anyway...and I don't have to drag a sick child in a cab to the office.
He arrived a half hour later. He is a Family Practitioner, and although I speak Spanish, he is fluent in English as well. He convinces Annalise to let him examine her. He is quite good with her offering conversation of many things trying to distract her. I told him (out of her earshot on his arrival) that she is terrified of doctors. She's not thrilled but before his arrival I managed to convince her with the understanding that if she doesn't let him examine her, she can't get medicine, and she won't be able to go outside to play all weekend, nor take a walk with us for ice cream. Not to mention the yucky teas again. That finally does it.
He examines her and says she has bronchitis! OMG! Poor baby. No wonder she is so miserable. He is thorough in his exam and questions about her medical history, and prescribes her Zithromax. He also prescribes me something for my stomach cramps, which I am still having while he is here.
I muster up enough energy to walk to the pharmacy 2 blocks away. I take Alejandro with me, to give Jim a break, and to take him for a stroll in his umbrella stroller that we brought with us. We didn't know if it be used at all, but it only cost us $15 so if we had to dump it, or give it away, we were OK with that. Come to find out, he loves the stroller ride. Doesn't want to come out of it at the pharmacy during the 40 minute wait we had. I have to cross the main road. Two lanes on each side of crazy traffic that does not stop nor slow down for pedestrians. Cars have the right of way, not pedestrians. I feel like I'm putting my life on the line every time I cross the street. I'm not used to this.
The pharmacy is in a pretty swanky looking strip mall that has medical offices. From the looks of the place and the cars parked outside, I can tell this is not your average pharmacy. Inside, you go to the security guard, the guy with the flack vest and gun, and get a number from him. Then wait. Most stores I go to have a guard of some kind. All have a weapon of some sort. You have to wonder how much training they receive. Not willing to find out, though.
I come back to Annie with a 102 fever and looking worse. The antibiotics are right on time. Thank you God for house calls. I have to wonder that if I had been home and taken her to my usual pediatrician, if they would have given the usual, "Yep, she has a fever. Keep doing what your doing and if she still has a fever in two days, come back. We don't prescribe antibiotics unless absolutely necessary." Yes, been there before. Scary on the parent end. She might have had pneumonia by then.
Earlier, at 3:30, the social worker paid us a visit, in the midst of this. She was happy and I was shocked to see, that Alejandro paid her very little attention. He smiled at her but kept on with business as usual with Daddy and Sissy. He didn't cry when she left, and she didn't even have to sneak out. I was floored! She says he passed the test. He is bonding with his new family.
I asked her why he doesn't cling to her anymore. It's only been 2 days. I expected him to cry when he saw her and cling to her. I figured he might feel relief seeing a familiar face that perhaps was going to take him back to the Tias. But, not so! How can this be, so soon? She says, he feels the love, security and attention that he is receiving from the family. He feels secure enough with us that he doesn't feel he needs to return. And that even at his tender little age, he has some understanding of what a family should be, and he wants one.
Wow. Unbelievable. I thought I knew what there is to know about toddler adoption, but obviously, Alejandro will be teaching us many lessons to come.
Love,
Lisandra
The owner of the apartments offerred to call a doctor, but earlier in the day I thought this would get better with tincture of time, fluids and what I was giving her. It was obvious by 4pm, that it wasn't going to happen. She was a little lump on the couch and wouldn't take anything to eat nor drink. All day she had a little chicken broth and water, but nothing else. I even tried to bribe with her favorite mac and cheeze, but nope.
Jim had been nursing us both all day. Me with my horrible stomach cramps that doubled me over mid sentence over and over again. Her with her bad cold and now congested cough.
I went to the office and the staff member offerred to call a local doctor they know that sees their clients. He comes highly recommended. He charges $30 for an office visit and $35 for a house call....a...house...call??? Which would I like...uuuuummmmm...I'll...take...the...house...call?
Now I realize that $30 is a lot of money for your average person here. But that's about what I pay for a copay back home for a specialist anyway...and I don't have to drag a sick child in a cab to the office.
He arrived a half hour later. He is a Family Practitioner, and although I speak Spanish, he is fluent in English as well. He convinces Annalise to let him examine her. He is quite good with her offering conversation of many things trying to distract her. I told him (out of her earshot on his arrival) that she is terrified of doctors. She's not thrilled but before his arrival I managed to convince her with the understanding that if she doesn't let him examine her, she can't get medicine, and she won't be able to go outside to play all weekend, nor take a walk with us for ice cream. Not to mention the yucky teas again. That finally does it.
He examines her and says she has bronchitis! OMG! Poor baby. No wonder she is so miserable. He is thorough in his exam and questions about her medical history, and prescribes her Zithromax. He also prescribes me something for my stomach cramps, which I am still having while he is here.
I muster up enough energy to walk to the pharmacy 2 blocks away. I take Alejandro with me, to give Jim a break, and to take him for a stroll in his umbrella stroller that we brought with us. We didn't know if it be used at all, but it only cost us $15 so if we had to dump it, or give it away, we were OK with that. Come to find out, he loves the stroller ride. Doesn't want to come out of it at the pharmacy during the 40 minute wait we had. I have to cross the main road. Two lanes on each side of crazy traffic that does not stop nor slow down for pedestrians. Cars have the right of way, not pedestrians. I feel like I'm putting my life on the line every time I cross the street. I'm not used to this.
The pharmacy is in a pretty swanky looking strip mall that has medical offices. From the looks of the place and the cars parked outside, I can tell this is not your average pharmacy. Inside, you go to the security guard, the guy with the flack vest and gun, and get a number from him. Then wait. Most stores I go to have a guard of some kind. All have a weapon of some sort. You have to wonder how much training they receive. Not willing to find out, though.
I come back to Annie with a 102 fever and looking worse. The antibiotics are right on time. Thank you God for house calls. I have to wonder that if I had been home and taken her to my usual pediatrician, if they would have given the usual, "Yep, she has a fever. Keep doing what your doing and if she still has a fever in two days, come back. We don't prescribe antibiotics unless absolutely necessary." Yes, been there before. Scary on the parent end. She might have had pneumonia by then.
Earlier, at 3:30, the social worker paid us a visit, in the midst of this. She was happy and I was shocked to see, that Alejandro paid her very little attention. He smiled at her but kept on with business as usual with Daddy and Sissy. He didn't cry when she left, and she didn't even have to sneak out. I was floored! She says he passed the test. He is bonding with his new family.
I asked her why he doesn't cling to her anymore. It's only been 2 days. I expected him to cry when he saw her and cling to her. I figured he might feel relief seeing a familiar face that perhaps was going to take him back to the Tias. But, not so! How can this be, so soon? She says, he feels the love, security and attention that he is receiving from the family. He feels secure enough with us that he doesn't feel he needs to return. And that even at his tender little age, he has some understanding of what a family should be, and he wants one.
Wow. Unbelievable. I thought I knew what there is to know about toddler adoption, but obviously, Alejandro will be teaching us many lessons to come.
Love,
Friday, January 29, 2010
Day 7
I am finally able to join the world of the living at 1:25 in the afternoon. Not only did Annie's cold get far worse yesterday, but today I awoke with a bad stomach...lots of pain and other unmentionables. We've all eaten the same foods and so far everyone else is fine. We take care to use bottled or boiled water for everything and eat cooked vegetables and fruit with skins. I bought an organic solution called "StarBac" made from grapefruit extract. It's used to wash fruits and veggies. Like I said, everyone else seems to be fine.
There is a holistic clinic that is attached to the apartment building. They gave me some floral concoction that has finally taken away my symptoms. That, and ginger tea that I made by boiling ginger root in water seems to have done the trick.
Annie stayed home from school today. She's a mess. Luckilly I packed with us all the children's cold and allergy over the counter meds I could think of. She's a little better. She got a little sleep last night after the housekeeper brought me some fresh camomille from the back yard. I made her a tea. Her first hot tea. She wasn't pleased, to say the least.
Yesterday, the owner of the establishment baked Alejandro an amazing cake...chocolate with walnuts and coconut. Mmmmm. Maybe that's what did me in. After his nap, we went to the courtyard and gathered the neighbors that were around that we have gotten to know. They are dying to see him, but have kept their distance at our request because new faces make him very nervous.
He's totally ok with the 6 or so people around us. After all, this involves cake! He opens some toys that my thoughtful coworkers bought him and we have wrapped up. He immediately gives them to daddy to assemble. Candles. Singing. Pictures. Cake. Fun! Poor Annie was sick though.
Stomach ache is back. Going to go lay down again. Darn.
There is a holistic clinic that is attached to the apartment building. They gave me some floral concoction that has finally taken away my symptoms. That, and ginger tea that I made by boiling ginger root in water seems to have done the trick.
Annie stayed home from school today. She's a mess. Luckilly I packed with us all the children's cold and allergy over the counter meds I could think of. She's a little better. She got a little sleep last night after the housekeeper brought me some fresh camomille from the back yard. I made her a tea. Her first hot tea. She wasn't pleased, to say the least.
Yesterday, the owner of the establishment baked Alejandro an amazing cake...chocolate with walnuts and coconut. Mmmmm. Maybe that's what did me in. After his nap, we went to the courtyard and gathered the neighbors that were around that we have gotten to know. They are dying to see him, but have kept their distance at our request because new faces make him very nervous.
He's totally ok with the 6 or so people around us. After all, this involves cake! He opens some toys that my thoughtful coworkers bought him and we have wrapped up. He immediately gives them to daddy to assemble. Candles. Singing. Pictures. Cake. Fun! Poor Annie was sick though.
Stomach ache is back. Going to go lay down again. Darn.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Day 6
We had a pretty good day.
Today was Alejandro's first full day with us...or our first full day with Alejandro, depending on your perspective. He is beautiful! I know, we all think that of all our children, and I am no different...so I am going to throw that in there every once in a while ;-)
We woke up early to Annie with a bad cold. She will not be deterred from going to her new school. I leave the boys alone for the morning...aka, Jim and Alejandro. This will be good for both of them. Jim is such a great dad, and come to realize, the first dad that Alejandro has known. The social worker says, that he has known many mothers, the tias. But, has never known a father or father figure until he met Jim. It is evident that he really likes Jim. He took to him very early. Me, not so much at first. After all, I had the Tias to compete with, and that's a hard thing to beat in his life. I'm so grateful for them. They were first to show him the love of a mother. He knows what to expect of that. I'm guessing he's not so sure of what to expect of a Papi, or Daddy. He's obviously willing to find out. He has no idea that he has just been given the gift of a world's greatest dad. Just ask Annalise, she'll tell you.
After dropping Annie off to school in a cab, I go to the supermarket...waaaaayyyy too early. Bummer. I look for a panaderia and coffee shop. Lo and behold, I find a block and a half away...a school supply store (just received Annie's list this morning) / (slash) internet cafe. Well, if I couldn't fuel one vice, coffee, then at least I could fulfill another...internet.
I finally get home after shopping. Our little boy has had a great morning with Papi. Aaaaaahhh. This is going better than expected for day two with him.
I call the social worker to reassure her how well he is doing. I'm sure they are DYING to know that he is well, but do not call us in order to give us personal space with him. I respect them highly for that. I know it must be hard. The social worker and coordinator's office is only steps from my littly guys "house" and they see all the children daily. They take personal interest in Alejandro as if he were their own. He is in fact, in a way. They are very protective. I love that. They worry that it may offend me. Not at all. I WANT someone to look after my little boy, and all his buddies with personal interest. I much prefer them being intrusive, than uncaring.
Our representative calls us. Did I mention that my little boy is BEAUTIFUL?!?! Yes, I can say that about a boy.
More later...
Today was Alejandro's first full day with us...or our first full day with Alejandro, depending on your perspective. He is beautiful! I know, we all think that of all our children, and I am no different...so I am going to throw that in there every once in a while ;-)
We woke up early to Annie with a bad cold. She will not be deterred from going to her new school. I leave the boys alone for the morning...aka, Jim and Alejandro. This will be good for both of them. Jim is such a great dad, and come to realize, the first dad that Alejandro has known. The social worker says, that he has known many mothers, the tias. But, has never known a father or father figure until he met Jim. It is evident that he really likes Jim. He took to him very early. Me, not so much at first. After all, I had the Tias to compete with, and that's a hard thing to beat in his life. I'm so grateful for them. They were first to show him the love of a mother. He knows what to expect of that. I'm guessing he's not so sure of what to expect of a Papi, or Daddy. He's obviously willing to find out. He has no idea that he has just been given the gift of a world's greatest dad. Just ask Annalise, she'll tell you.
After dropping Annie off to school in a cab, I go to the supermarket...waaaaayyyy too early. Bummer. I look for a panaderia and coffee shop. Lo and behold, I find a block and a half away...a school supply store (just received Annie's list this morning) / (slash) internet cafe. Well, if I couldn't fuel one vice, coffee, then at least I could fulfill another...internet.
I finally get home after shopping. Our little boy has had a great morning with Papi. Aaaaaahhh. This is going better than expected for day two with him.
I call the social worker to reassure her how well he is doing. I'm sure they are DYING to know that he is well, but do not call us in order to give us personal space with him. I respect them highly for that. I know it must be hard. The social worker and coordinator's office is only steps from my littly guys "house" and they see all the children daily. They take personal interest in Alejandro as if he were their own. He is in fact, in a way. They are very protective. I love that. They worry that it may offend me. Not at all. I WANT someone to look after my little boy, and all his buddies with personal interest. I much prefer them being intrusive, than uncaring.
Our representative calls us. Did I mention that my little boy is BEAUTIFUL?!?! Yes, I can say that about a boy.
More later...
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
...
After dropping Annie off at school, we go to Ossitos (the local name for the home). Alejandro is definitely happy to see us. He gives me a hug and is off the play, like a typical two year old. He goes back and forth as to who he prefers, mommy or daddy. Sometimes, ok, frequently, neither.
The social worker arrives, and says it's best to go today. The tia packs him a little going away bag with his favorite blankie, his beloved Rojas-Knotts family photo album, and his plush toy monkey we gave him for his birthday.
He's not phased by the cab ride. The social worker is with us, so he feels safe. We spend the day at the apartment and it's grounds with him and the social worker. She observes and takes notes on the place. Boy do I wish I was in my own home right now. I'm not at home here.
She is impressed by the child gate we have already put in the front door-way. It works on pressure, so no screws into the wall. It has a small door that Annie has learned to open and close so she can play in the courtyard playground. Our apartment is on the second floor and the railings are very wide apart on the balcony...very dangerous for a curious little boy. Hence, the gate.
At lunch time she likes the meal I have prepared...chicken and vegetable stew with a side of rice. Fruit for desert. Coincidently, grandma called while she was there. It was nice for her to see how much lovin' grandma was skyping over (is that even a word?). Thanks grandma!
The day went better than I expected. I'm not sure what Jim expected. I thought he would cry all day, (Alejandro, not Jim...ha-ha!). We had our rough moments, but we muddled through and keep reassuring him with all we can give.
He loves the river behind the apartment! It's his first seeing a river. It's become my crutch. If he's inconsolable, I carry him over to the window to see the river. It calms him almost instantly. Whew.
He napped well, ate fairly well, played some. Mostly looks nervous and unsure. He wants to carry his blankie everywhere, which I know he does not do at Ossitos. That's ok. If it makes him feel better, he can have it. It'll just get washed a lot.
Bedtime routine for Annie, after having bathed, brushed, finished homework, and read a book with us, she watches a half hour of cartoons. Definitely new for him. I'm damaging this kid already. When I brought out his pajamas, he made a mad dash for the doorway. He wasn't having it. "No way am I spending the night here" his little tears said. That's where family time with the video helped. Again, whew.
Gotta go get some rest. Goodnight!
Lisandra,
The social worker arrives, and says it's best to go today. The tia packs him a little going away bag with his favorite blankie, his beloved Rojas-Knotts family photo album, and his plush toy monkey we gave him for his birthday.
He's not phased by the cab ride. The social worker is with us, so he feels safe. We spend the day at the apartment and it's grounds with him and the social worker. She observes and takes notes on the place. Boy do I wish I was in my own home right now. I'm not at home here.
She is impressed by the child gate we have already put in the front door-way. It works on pressure, so no screws into the wall. It has a small door that Annie has learned to open and close so she can play in the courtyard playground. Our apartment is on the second floor and the railings are very wide apart on the balcony...very dangerous for a curious little boy. Hence, the gate.
At lunch time she likes the meal I have prepared...chicken and vegetable stew with a side of rice. Fruit for desert. Coincidently, grandma called while she was there. It was nice for her to see how much lovin' grandma was skyping over (is that even a word?). Thanks grandma!
The day went better than I expected. I'm not sure what Jim expected. I thought he would cry all day, (Alejandro, not Jim...ha-ha!). We had our rough moments, but we muddled through and keep reassuring him with all we can give.
He loves the river behind the apartment! It's his first seeing a river. It's become my crutch. If he's inconsolable, I carry him over to the window to see the river. It calms him almost instantly. Whew.
He napped well, ate fairly well, played some. Mostly looks nervous and unsure. He wants to carry his blankie everywhere, which I know he does not do at Ossitos. That's ok. If it makes him feel better, he can have it. It'll just get washed a lot.
Bedtime routine for Annie, after having bathed, brushed, finished homework, and read a book with us, she watches a half hour of cartoons. Definitely new for him. I'm damaging this kid already. When I brought out his pajamas, he made a mad dash for the doorway. He wasn't having it. "No way am I spending the night here" his little tears said. That's where family time with the video helped. Again, whew.
Gotta go get some rest. Goodnight!
Lisandra,
Days 4 and 5 continued
When we went to see Alejandro, he smiled shyly when he saw us. The tias told him to give us a hug and he did. We were allowed and encouraged to give him all his care...feeding, changing, bathing etc. One tia that is there a few days a week was new to us. She is obviously his favorite. When the tias arrive for change of shift, the kids go squeeling toward their arrival with open arms for hugs and snuggles. It's sooooo adorable. The tias freely give it.
The one tia, whom I'll call "C" did not make eye contact with me. Ever. She spoke and encouraged Alejandro's interaction with us, but she'never looked directly at me. I don't take it personal. I understand completely. I am taking her heart away. It's bittersweet.
I get to give Alejandro his bath. Two reasons: one of course is to have personal time with him, but also important is to see him unclothed from head to toe. I had read that I should do that, but I had forgotten. The social worker initiated it. I'm so glad. So much to remember, and such a tiny brain I have.
We left at naptime to pick up Annie from school. We asked a taxi driver to drive us from the children's home cross town to the school, take us to get Annie's school uniforms, get a quick lunch at the mall (and might I add it's a pretty kick-a_ _ mall. Then back to the home. Almost three hours...$17. Can't beat that. I'm sure that was even the tourist price.
Spent the rest of the afternoon with him. Annie tries so hard to get his attention and play with him, but he's not much interested at this point. She is so patient and gentle with him. I'm so proud of my little girl. She wore her school uniform from the store, because...why the heck wouldn't you when you are five. The tias then dressed Alejandro in a matching shirt that he already has, with the same school name. It had been donated by the same uniform store. Instant twinsies.
We took him to play outside so we could get some alone time with him. He does better when we're alone with him. The social worker told us that it is best to take him tomorrow for the day, and if all goes even moderately well, that we should keep him. She says the if continue to be around him with the tias in arms reach, he will not learn that we are his authority figures, and not the tias. He will keep us at arms length and learn that we are not as important as the tias. In his little world we aren't yet, but we will be.
When we return, they have set up the room for a birthday party. His house mates, and kids from other houses are invited. Many special needs kids arrive. There are many there, in addition to the healthy toddlers. I haven't added that there are 15 volunteers from the OSSO foundation on the grounds. If you look up the OSSO Foundation, you can learn about their program. I can tell you more another time.
Back to the party. So we sing happy birthday in both Spanish and English in honor of his future home. The tias both start to ball. I can hardly keep it together. It's a cry-fest. What a party. It is heartwrentching for them to let him go. They have been told that tomorrow will most likely be their last morning with him. How can they stand it?
Tia C writes him a lovely note and gives us her contact information. I will keep that note for him forever. I gave them hugs and assured him that he is coming to a good home and a good family. No, not good, great. I tell them more about us, our family, friends, home, neighborhood, church, schools, you name it. They ask many questions which I am more than happy to answer. Anything to help them feel better about him leaving.
They share with me some recipes a-la "grandmother". In otherwords, nothing measured...a little of this and a little of that, and I'm supposed to be able to dupicate it. Ha! But, boy I'm sure gonna try. Especially his favorite no-bake oatmeal cookies. I'm all for that, since I presently have no oven, just a stove top. They eat extremely healthy.
The one tia, whom I'll call "C" did not make eye contact with me. Ever. She spoke and encouraged Alejandro's interaction with us, but she'never looked directly at me. I don't take it personal. I understand completely. I am taking her heart away. It's bittersweet.
I get to give Alejandro his bath. Two reasons: one of course is to have personal time with him, but also important is to see him unclothed from head to toe. I had read that I should do that, but I had forgotten. The social worker initiated it. I'm so glad. So much to remember, and such a tiny brain I have.
We left at naptime to pick up Annie from school. We asked a taxi driver to drive us from the children's home cross town to the school, take us to get Annie's school uniforms, get a quick lunch at the mall (and might I add it's a pretty kick-a_ _ mall. Then back to the home. Almost three hours...$17. Can't beat that. I'm sure that was even the tourist price.
Spent the rest of the afternoon with him. Annie tries so hard to get his attention and play with him, but he's not much interested at this point. She is so patient and gentle with him. I'm so proud of my little girl. She wore her school uniform from the store, because...why the heck wouldn't you when you are five. The tias then dressed Alejandro in a matching shirt that he already has, with the same school name. It had been donated by the same uniform store. Instant twinsies.
We took him to play outside so we could get some alone time with him. He does better when we're alone with him. The social worker told us that it is best to take him tomorrow for the day, and if all goes even moderately well, that we should keep him. She says the if continue to be around him with the tias in arms reach, he will not learn that we are his authority figures, and not the tias. He will keep us at arms length and learn that we are not as important as the tias. In his little world we aren't yet, but we will be.
When we return, they have set up the room for a birthday party. His house mates, and kids from other houses are invited. Many special needs kids arrive. There are many there, in addition to the healthy toddlers. I haven't added that there are 15 volunteers from the OSSO foundation on the grounds. If you look up the OSSO Foundation, you can learn about their program. I can tell you more another time.
Back to the party. So we sing happy birthday in both Spanish and English in honor of his future home. The tias both start to ball. I can hardly keep it together. It's a cry-fest. What a party. It is heartwrentching for them to let him go. They have been told that tomorrow will most likely be their last morning with him. How can they stand it?
Tia C writes him a lovely note and gives us her contact information. I will keep that note for him forever. I gave them hugs and assured him that he is coming to a good home and a good family. No, not good, great. I tell them more about us, our family, friends, home, neighborhood, church, schools, you name it. They ask many questions which I am more than happy to answer. Anything to help them feel better about him leaving.
They share with me some recipes a-la "grandmother". In otherwords, nothing measured...a little of this and a little of that, and I'm supposed to be able to dupicate it. Ha! But, boy I'm sure gonna try. Especially his favorite no-bake oatmeal cookies. I'm all for that, since I presently have no oven, just a stove top. They eat extremely healthy.
Days 4 and 5
Whew. Yesterday was an exhausting day. Exhilarating, and exhausting. We started by getting Annie up an hour earlier than she is used to. School starts at 7:30am here. Ouch...for all of us. Our rep came to get us via taxi to drop Annie off at school and pick up the Dragon Lady. That's my new name for her...you know the one. She knew that we had been to see Alejandro the day before. She didn't seem phased and was polite. I did my best to schmooze as we spoke in Spanish about the similarities of Puerto Rican and Ecuadorian traditions and foods. She was happiest to hear that we were going to maintain spanish traditions from both cultures, and this would not be lost in Alejandro. She seemed intrigued, especially about the vegetables we PRs like from the island that are near impossible to find where I live in Maryland. Yautia, yame, malanga, pana, yucca, etc. I pick those up in New York whenever I can. I guess we hadn't pissed her off too much the prior day.
We arrived at Pequenitos de OSSO, and were again greeted by the coordinator and the social worker. They welcomed us with open arms and kisses. The staff had a brief private meeting with Dragon Lady. I was later told she scolded them, and would not stay for an explanation. My rep seemed unnerved, and told us all not to be concerned. I trust her judgement without hesitation.
More later...
We arrived at Pequenitos de OSSO, and were again greeted by the coordinator and the social worker. They welcomed us with open arms and kisses. The staff had a brief private meeting with Dragon Lady. I was later told she scolded them, and would not stay for an explanation. My rep seemed unnerved, and told us all not to be concerned. I trust her judgement without hesitation.
More later...
Monday, January 25, 2010
Day 3
What a day and where to start.
First, Annalise started her first day of Kindergarten here. She was so excited, she ate a huge breakfast without protest, which in this house is a big deal. Our representative's husband picked us up this morning while she was on official business elsewhere. We went to Annie's school which took us through some lovely areas of the city. She was revving to go as soon as we arrived, but had to sit for the official paperwork to be completed. It's a beautiful private school. Everyone was welcoming and most importantly, she loved it. When we picked her up, we could see her through the fence, before she saw us. She was walking hand-in-hand with two other girls who were showing her around. Great. Now we can relax about that. She'll be well there.
We ran some errands and had what felt like an eternal wait until the afternoon when we could go meet Alejandro. We picked up Annie from school (we take cabs everywhere when we are not with our reps) and went back home, to wait, and wait, and wait.
A representative from the central authority was supposed to meet with us. Forty minutes after what would have been our appt time, our rep called her and she wasn't going to be able to make it due to poor scheduling...she had something important going on at her office, and had not known about our appt until last Friday. We had been unscheduled. He was able to convince her to come, and when she finally arrived we were ready to go.
We had a few polite exchanges. She asked us a few questions in regard to our expectation to the process and our son. Finally, she handed us a marvelous baby photo book of Alejandro. It had been put together by his caregivers, called Tias (tee-as) or aunts. They're not really his aunts, that's just what they are called here. We were very surprised and joyfully delighted to receive it.
His first picture brought tears to our eyes. I, personally, could hardly catch my breath between sobs...it was a picture of him at 4 months old. I saw Jim wipe away a few tears too. Alejandro will be two years old this coming Thursday. We sat and gazed at his album and all the comments the tias had added to the pictures. They had obviously worked hard on the book, and the love they have for him poured off of every page.
After having been handed this treasure, and having waited already approximately 15 months, 9 days, 15.5 hours (but who's counting), she proceeds to tell us that since this was a last minute appt for her, and was unexpected, that we would not be able to see him today. SERIOUSLY LADY, ARE YOU FRIKIN' KIDDING ME?
She then asked us if we had any questions or concerns about the upcoming process. Hmmmmm. Well, a few come to mind. What could the first possibly be?
I took a deep breath and politely told her that we were very disappointed because we had every expectation to meet him today. She tried to convince us it was a bad idea to meet with him given the late hour (3:30). Once again I told her of our expectation and disappointment, and furthermore, how devastating this was going to be to Annalise (she was outside playing at the time) who has been counting down the days until she met her brother since we first told her on Christmas morning.
She didn't seem phased by the fact that this would break Annie's heart. After all it was just going to be one more day. One day, an eternity, what's the difference? The woman asked us if the wait would be ok, and I politely told her that it really wasn't. However, if that is the only option she was giving us, we would have no choice but to follow. She left abrubptly. Our rep called his wife, and she made some phone calls to see what, if anything could be done.
We were afraid that going to see him against the woman's recommendations would be unwise, as we do not want to offend anyone during the process. After all, our family's future depends on these type of people. We were given the go-ahead by her superiors, through our rep to go see Alejandro. Really?!?! Oh my gosh! We were really going to finally meet him.
We told Annalise, and she jumped for joy. Off we were. The children's home he resides in, Pequenitos de OSSO is a beautiful facility. They had been called ahead to tell of the afternoon's happenings. It was obvious that they had been waiting on us as well. We were greeted with warm smiles, and hugs. The facility's coordinator and social worker said they had been awaiting us with nervous anxiety, and were so happy we had finally made it. We got to know eachother for a short while, and they told us that Alejandro carries around the family photo album we had sent to him. They said when asked, he points out Mama, Papa, and Sissy. He has a special name for her but it doesn't make sense to write it until I download the Spanish keyboard.
After the social workers talked to us for a short while, we were taken to Alejandro's house. He lives with 6 other children, his "brothers and sisters". They were all about the same age, and so remarkably adorable! I just wanted to take them all home with me. Alejandro was very shy at first, but warmed up to us after a while. Annalise tried to play with him as much as he would allow. He carried around the family photo album and the tias helped him compare the pictures to us. He indeed did know us, and boy, pity the fool who would try to get the book away from him. He had a steel grip on it. So awesome!
All the kids were dressed up beautifully, and the girls had little pretties and ribbons in their hair. They were all very playful and certainly joyful. The tias were busy working away at baking a cake for his birthday. The birthday isn't until Thursday, but they want to have an extra special birthday party for him tomorrow, because they think he might be with us full-time by then. How sweet, and back up...what was that?!? Really! YAY!!! and what, OMG!!!
After a while, he let Jim pick him up. Mind you, he wanted to be lifted higher to see his cake, and Jim was the means to the end, but hey, we'll take it! After, Jim played airplane with him and boy did the giggles come out then. He has the best dimples ever! He was pretty tied to Papi and eventually let me pick him up. Once again, a means to an end, he wanted to go outside. Hey, we'll take it!
After a couple of hours, it was time for his dinner, and the place keeps a tight schedule. I guess you have to in order to keep up with all the little one's needs. We hated to go, but knew it was a good time. He didn't want Jim to put him down. They eventually were able to distract him and we left.
Annalise moped all the way home. "I want my little brother!" It's all good.
What a blessed day!
Love, Lisandra
First, Annalise started her first day of Kindergarten here. She was so excited, she ate a huge breakfast without protest, which in this house is a big deal. Our representative's husband picked us up this morning while she was on official business elsewhere. We went to Annie's school which took us through some lovely areas of the city. She was revving to go as soon as we arrived, but had to sit for the official paperwork to be completed. It's a beautiful private school. Everyone was welcoming and most importantly, she loved it. When we picked her up, we could see her through the fence, before she saw us. She was walking hand-in-hand with two other girls who were showing her around. Great. Now we can relax about that. She'll be well there.
We ran some errands and had what felt like an eternal wait until the afternoon when we could go meet Alejandro. We picked up Annie from school (we take cabs everywhere when we are not with our reps) and went back home, to wait, and wait, and wait.
A representative from the central authority was supposed to meet with us. Forty minutes after what would have been our appt time, our rep called her and she wasn't going to be able to make it due to poor scheduling...she had something important going on at her office, and had not known about our appt until last Friday. We had been unscheduled. He was able to convince her to come, and when she finally arrived we were ready to go.
We had a few polite exchanges. She asked us a few questions in regard to our expectation to the process and our son. Finally, she handed us a marvelous baby photo book of Alejandro. It had been put together by his caregivers, called Tias (tee-as) or aunts. They're not really his aunts, that's just what they are called here. We were very surprised and joyfully delighted to receive it.
His first picture brought tears to our eyes. I, personally, could hardly catch my breath between sobs...it was a picture of him at 4 months old. I saw Jim wipe away a few tears too. Alejandro will be two years old this coming Thursday. We sat and gazed at his album and all the comments the tias had added to the pictures. They had obviously worked hard on the book, and the love they have for him poured off of every page.
After having been handed this treasure, and having waited already approximately 15 months, 9 days, 15.5 hours (but who's counting), she proceeds to tell us that since this was a last minute appt for her, and was unexpected, that we would not be able to see him today. SERIOUSLY LADY, ARE YOU FRIKIN' KIDDING ME?
She then asked us if we had any questions or concerns about the upcoming process. Hmmmmm. Well, a few come to mind. What could the first possibly be?
I took a deep breath and politely told her that we were very disappointed because we had every expectation to meet him today. She tried to convince us it was a bad idea to meet with him given the late hour (3:30). Once again I told her of our expectation and disappointment, and furthermore, how devastating this was going to be to Annalise (she was outside playing at the time) who has been counting down the days until she met her brother since we first told her on Christmas morning.
She didn't seem phased by the fact that this would break Annie's heart. After all it was just going to be one more day. One day, an eternity, what's the difference? The woman asked us if the wait would be ok, and I politely told her that it really wasn't. However, if that is the only option she was giving us, we would have no choice but to follow. She left abrubptly. Our rep called his wife, and she made some phone calls to see what, if anything could be done.
We were afraid that going to see him against the woman's recommendations would be unwise, as we do not want to offend anyone during the process. After all, our family's future depends on these type of people. We were given the go-ahead by her superiors, through our rep to go see Alejandro. Really?!?! Oh my gosh! We were really going to finally meet him.
We told Annalise, and she jumped for joy. Off we were. The children's home he resides in, Pequenitos de OSSO is a beautiful facility. They had been called ahead to tell of the afternoon's happenings. It was obvious that they had been waiting on us as well. We were greeted with warm smiles, and hugs. The facility's coordinator and social worker said they had been awaiting us with nervous anxiety, and were so happy we had finally made it. We got to know eachother for a short while, and they told us that Alejandro carries around the family photo album we had sent to him. They said when asked, he points out Mama, Papa, and Sissy. He has a special name for her but it doesn't make sense to write it until I download the Spanish keyboard.
After the social workers talked to us for a short while, we were taken to Alejandro's house. He lives with 6 other children, his "brothers and sisters". They were all about the same age, and so remarkably adorable! I just wanted to take them all home with me. Alejandro was very shy at first, but warmed up to us after a while. Annalise tried to play with him as much as he would allow. He carried around the family photo album and the tias helped him compare the pictures to us. He indeed did know us, and boy, pity the fool who would try to get the book away from him. He had a steel grip on it. So awesome!
All the kids were dressed up beautifully, and the girls had little pretties and ribbons in their hair. They were all very playful and certainly joyful. The tias were busy working away at baking a cake for his birthday. The birthday isn't until Thursday, but they want to have an extra special birthday party for him tomorrow, because they think he might be with us full-time by then. How sweet, and back up...what was that?!? Really! YAY!!! and what, OMG!!!
After a while, he let Jim pick him up. Mind you, he wanted to be lifted higher to see his cake, and Jim was the means to the end, but hey, we'll take it! After, Jim played airplane with him and boy did the giggles come out then. He has the best dimples ever! He was pretty tied to Papi and eventually let me pick him up. Once again, a means to an end, he wanted to go outside. Hey, we'll take it!
After a couple of hours, it was time for his dinner, and the place keeps a tight schedule. I guess you have to in order to keep up with all the little one's needs. We hated to go, but knew it was a good time. He didn't want Jim to put him down. They eventually were able to distract him and we left.
Annalise moped all the way home. "I want my little brother!" It's all good.
What a blessed day!
Love, Lisandra
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Days One and Two
Day One
Well, here we are! We made it! It was a very looooong trip that started when I accidently set my alarm clock for 1:00am and not 2:00am (sorry Jim). Our flight out of Dulles was at 5:30. Our wonderful neighbors were so gracious as to offer us a ride to the airport. Now that's friendship for you.
Three flights and many hours later, we arrived in Cuenca, Ecuador. Look it up, it's lovely, so I hear. I look forward to getting out to explore once the dust settles. It was 8pm and my little 5 year old was such a trooper. Armed with her Hello Kitty backpack filled with crayons, books, activity sheets and oh yes, the DVD player, she trecked on like a pro. She had been counting down the days until this trip and by gosh, nothing was going to keep her from completing her mission. Fortunately, our travel went well, without a hitch.
We were met at the airport by the representative, a lawyer that works tirelessly for the benefit of these children. She knew us instantly from pictures. It was a nice, warm welcome. She accompanied us to our apartment and helped us settle in. We met briefly with her as it had been a very long day. We were excited to hear everything she had to say though.
Our apartment is...well...quaint, and somewhat rustic. The complex itself is lovely, and villa style. We have two bedrooms, living room/kitchen/dining room combo type room, and a bathroom. Annalise is most joyful about the playground just outside in the courtyard. It's a well-enclosed area and quite safe. The surrounding streets aren't much to look at. The apartments do back to the local river, which is running low at present, so it looks more like a large stream. We can hear the run of the water, along with cars, buses, dogs and the morning rooster. This is the "quiet" side of the city. Hmmmm. Sometime at night, all the street noise does die down and all we hear is the river. Regardless, we all sleep very well.
Day Two
We were awoken by screams this morning...poor Annie woke up and forgot where she was. She was OK, just needed some cuddles. Two minutes later, she was ready to go play outside. Mind you, it's six am. No coffee pot. We are not starting off well. Fortunately, we were able to hold her off until 7:30 and ordered breakfast...yes we can do that! We had a lovely breakfast outside in the courtyard...scrambled ham and eggs, COFFEE, rolls with fresh apple marmalade (mmmm) and a fruit nectar we had never tried before made from a fruit called naranjilla. Tasted like a cross between fresh squeezed orange juice mixed with banana. It was a little creamy and delish! We couldn't convince Annie to eat anything but part of a roll. After all, it's not Poppa's grits and cheese. Poor girl is in for a shock. She's going to have to eat new things. What?!?!
The owner of the establishment drove us to the supermarket so we could stock up on staples. In the afternoon we ventured out on our own to find the town center. It's very beautiful. Picturesque. Looks much like the plazas in Puerto Rico, with the church in the center, and beautifully groomed landscaping. There were vendors about. One sight that was disturbing was a group of kids that had a little sweets stand. They were about 7, 5, and 2 years old. They were so dirty and so sad looking. Wish I could take them all home with me. Sigh. We sat there for a while then went to get something to eat. After, we discovered were no less than 6 ice cream shops in the center...this place takes their ice cream very seriously. Our kind of place!
Tomorrow we will be taken to Annie's school so she can start Kindergarten. She is both excited and nervous. Understandable. We've been told that the children are excited that she is coming and looking forward to playing with her. She'll ride the school bus, la busetta, for the first time. A new experience for all of us. Kinder is only half day here.
In the afternoon we will receive a visit from a governement type official social work person to review the upcoming process and then we will finally get to meet our son! OMG!!! We've been looking forward to this day since our first application to the agency, Oct 2008. Not bad, but we've definitely gained a few extra gray hairs in the process. No...wait...it was pretty horrible. Thank goodness for a super agency, my Yahoo support group and countless friends and family with unending support.
More or less, we will meet with him every morning while Annie goes to school, then bring her with us after lunch. All three of us will then be there afternoons. He might likely come spend the afternoon with us midweek, and a sleep-over with us after that by late week. All things going well, we should have him with us full time sometime next week. Wow! Already, we're baby proofing the apartment. His birthday is on Thursday, so whether he is with us that day or we visit, we hope to be able to either participate or throw him a little birthday party. How fun! Can't wait...mental note, buy birthday cake and candles.
Love, Lisandra.
Well, here we are! We made it! It was a very looooong trip that started when I accidently set my alarm clock for 1:00am and not 2:00am (sorry Jim). Our flight out of Dulles was at 5:30. Our wonderful neighbors were so gracious as to offer us a ride to the airport. Now that's friendship for you.
Three flights and many hours later, we arrived in Cuenca, Ecuador. Look it up, it's lovely, so I hear. I look forward to getting out to explore once the dust settles. It was 8pm and my little 5 year old was such a trooper. Armed with her Hello Kitty backpack filled with crayons, books, activity sheets and oh yes, the DVD player, she trecked on like a pro. She had been counting down the days until this trip and by gosh, nothing was going to keep her from completing her mission. Fortunately, our travel went well, without a hitch.
We were met at the airport by the representative, a lawyer that works tirelessly for the benefit of these children. She knew us instantly from pictures. It was a nice, warm welcome. She accompanied us to our apartment and helped us settle in. We met briefly with her as it had been a very long day. We were excited to hear everything she had to say though.
Our apartment is...well...quaint, and somewhat rustic. The complex itself is lovely, and villa style. We have two bedrooms, living room/kitchen/dining room combo type room, and a bathroom. Annalise is most joyful about the playground just outside in the courtyard. It's a well-enclosed area and quite safe. The surrounding streets aren't much to look at. The apartments do back to the local river, which is running low at present, so it looks more like a large stream. We can hear the run of the water, along with cars, buses, dogs and the morning rooster. This is the "quiet" side of the city. Hmmmm. Sometime at night, all the street noise does die down and all we hear is the river. Regardless, we all sleep very well.
Day Two
We were awoken by screams this morning...poor Annie woke up and forgot where she was. She was OK, just needed some cuddles. Two minutes later, she was ready to go play outside. Mind you, it's six am. No coffee pot. We are not starting off well. Fortunately, we were able to hold her off until 7:30 and ordered breakfast...yes we can do that! We had a lovely breakfast outside in the courtyard...scrambled ham and eggs, COFFEE, rolls with fresh apple marmalade (mmmm) and a fruit nectar we had never tried before made from a fruit called naranjilla. Tasted like a cross between fresh squeezed orange juice mixed with banana. It was a little creamy and delish! We couldn't convince Annie to eat anything but part of a roll. After all, it's not Poppa's grits and cheese. Poor girl is in for a shock. She's going to have to eat new things. What?!?!
The owner of the establishment drove us to the supermarket so we could stock up on staples. In the afternoon we ventured out on our own to find the town center. It's very beautiful. Picturesque. Looks much like the plazas in Puerto Rico, with the church in the center, and beautifully groomed landscaping. There were vendors about. One sight that was disturbing was a group of kids that had a little sweets stand. They were about 7, 5, and 2 years old. They were so dirty and so sad looking. Wish I could take them all home with me. Sigh. We sat there for a while then went to get something to eat. After, we discovered were no less than 6 ice cream shops in the center...this place takes their ice cream very seriously. Our kind of place!
Tomorrow we will be taken to Annie's school so she can start Kindergarten. She is both excited and nervous. Understandable. We've been told that the children are excited that she is coming and looking forward to playing with her. She'll ride the school bus, la busetta, for the first time. A new experience for all of us. Kinder is only half day here.
In the afternoon we will receive a visit from a governement type official social work person to review the upcoming process and then we will finally get to meet our son! OMG!!! We've been looking forward to this day since our first application to the agency, Oct 2008. Not bad, but we've definitely gained a few extra gray hairs in the process. No...wait...it was pretty horrible. Thank goodness for a super agency, my Yahoo support group and countless friends and family with unending support.
More or less, we will meet with him every morning while Annie goes to school, then bring her with us after lunch. All three of us will then be there afternoons. He might likely come spend the afternoon with us midweek, and a sleep-over with us after that by late week. All things going well, we should have him with us full time sometime next week. Wow! Already, we're baby proofing the apartment. His birthday is on Thursday, so whether he is with us that day or we visit, we hope to be able to either participate or throw him a little birthday party. How fun! Can't wait...mental note, buy birthday cake and candles.
Love, Lisandra.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Site in progress
Hi! I'm still trying to figure out this "Blog thing". I'm looking forward to sharing the next several weeks with you! Check back soon! Love, Lisandra.
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