Tuesday, March 9, 2010

DAy 46- Guayaquil

We're done! We can come home Friday! Alejandro fell alseep through dinner, while still chewing. Annie took less than two minutes to go out. I'm half way there. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.

Last Day in Cuenca

On our way to Guayaquil in the morning.  Today as we rode around in a taxi I looked out the window with differnt eyes than when I first arrived.  BTW, Alejandro jumps up and down like a crazy man when I tell him we're going for a taxi ride...he says..."Ta"  for taxi.  The city looked more beautiful to me today.  The colors more vibrant, and the sun shining brighter.  I'm going to miss this little city, but we're definitely ready to be home and start the next phase of our lives with our new family addition. 

We had a fantastic homemade Thai dinner at the neighbor's.  The best I've ever had.  Annalise and James traded gifts and then avoided one another and seemed angry at eachother.  James' family told us that he had spent the day very sad because his friend Annalisa as he calls her, is leaving.  We barely made it through dinner because Annie started to cry.  She cried for the better part of the next two hours, and even a phone call from Daddy didn't cheer her up.

At the same time, Ando was ready for bed, and he too was needing some snuggling.  He didn't want me to leave the bed, but poor Annie needed me too.  This is so new for me.  I love them both so much.  After snuggling Ando for a little while, I went back to Annie and held her for as she cried.  I was eventually able to help her see all the good reasons for going home: Daddy, Gramma and Poppa, Gramma's dogs, her best buddy Sasha, sleeping in her own bed, playing with her fun toys.  An endless list.  She finally cheered up enough to watch a video and go to bed. 

The neighbors are stopping by in the morning, and I'm really hoping we don't have a repeat performance.  People mean well, but sometimes they don't realize they can make a situation like that worse.

We didn't receive the letter we needed from the official in Quito.  We're going to Guayaquil anyway to get Ando's physical done, since we can't leave without that anyway.  Our rep spent the entire day in Quito lobbying and waiting, and waiting.  She says she never left the office, even to eat.  She finally made it to Cuenca and her family at 8pm.  She'll accompany us tomorrow to Guayaquil, as she keeps calling Quito for our letters.  What an exhaustion. 

Hoping things still work out by Friday.  We certainly have people working and praying very hard on our part.

Love, Lisandra.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Day 45- Busy, Busy Days!

So much has happened in the last few days. 

Friday was Annie's last day of school in Cuenca.  She is very excited about going home, but is very sad to leave her school and apartment friends. Her school planned a great farewell day for her.  Alejandro and I went to join in on the festivities.  Her teacher planned a going away party in the classroom, and all the kids took turns telling Annie how much they liked her and would miss her.  Even the class bully gave her a flower he brought from home.

They gave her a going away scrapbook complete with her picture and a class picture taken that morning.  The teacher had the kids make handprints for her, so she would remember them.  They all also made cards for her, and the teacher made her a beautiful present, a fairy doll.

That afternoon, we went to Ossitos for our farewell there.  It was sad to look around the grounds, the kids, the workers and the apartment Alejandro had known all his life one last time.  I'd like to think that we will come back to visit one day, when Ando is older and ready.  The faces of the children of course will be different, for our hopes are that their forever familie's will find them soon too. 

We were excited to hear that his housemate and buddy, "V" has found a family.  She is soooooo beautiful, a real doll-baby, and sooooo smart.  Although none of the kids speak much yet at age two, she is the one that catches on to words most quickly.  She brought me a book of animals that I could read to her.  She repeated the names of most of the animals I said, and always did the sign for them.  So cute with her chubby little hands.  She has a mild hearing abnormality, but hears conversation very well and annunciates as well as the other two-year-olds.  Seriously, I wanted to bring her home too (but I would never have been able to), so I'm very happy to know a family will be so fortunate to call her a daughter.

I told the staff I had met "JA's" Italian family and that he looked to be very well loved and taken care of.  I'm sure already knew that, but it's always nice to hear from someone else.  JA is already learning to say Italian words.  My litlle guy is also starting to bloom with his vocabulary, both English and Spanish.  Communication is much easier than it was a month ago.  We're going to keep working on it.

Saturday, the Italian family came to the apartment for a brief visit and brought along a second Italian family that they travelled here with, both to complete their adoptions. They all had their Audiencias a week after I did, and are still waiting for the judge to sign the Sentencia. Ugh! I'm glad for the stage we are finally at. It's all relative, because I'd be glad to be home by now too.  Ando this time was very happy to see JA and hugged and kissed him.  JA looked happy too.  Aaaaaawwwwe.  We all took a long walk to the town center indoor market and their kids pooped out.  We parted with the intention of keeping in touch.  We've already traded pictures and emails.  V lights up, claps and giggles whenever she sees us visit with Alejandro.  I hope her family will be interested in the same ;-)

Annie, Ando and I then continued another two, very crowded and narrow blocks to the indoor craft market to pick up a present for her buddy James here.  Ten minutes later I received a call from the family that is completing their adoption from Riobamba.  They were only two blocks away from us so we caught up to eachother.  Their son is another cutie, school-aged and sharp as a tack!  He's learned English at his children's home.  It's owned by a Canadian family.

We spent the afternoon outside after Ando's nap, in the play area in our apartments.  It was a good rest spot for the dad who had been walking around all day, and frequently carrying his new son.  Annie enjoyed having a new play friend and James enjoyed having a boy his age to play with...he's been playing with a girl for the past 6 1/2 weeks.  I had told them about the Italian families I had met, and they had only missed them by ten minutes.  We all went out for pizza (yes, pizza in Ecuador) with our neighbors, who then drove the other family home to Banos.  Very thoughtful of them. 

Sunday, I opted for a quiet day at "home".  I spent the morning outside, once again, with the kids.  Ando likes getting right in there with the other two.  In the afternoon, we had a repeat visit from the Riobamba family.  Resting was never so exhausting, keeping up with the four kids.  Good times, though. 

Today, Monday, I've been packing all day.  I sent so much stuff home, how is it I still have "stuff"!  We're leaving for Guayaquil tomorrow, hopefully with Article 23 letter in hand.  There was a delay in receiving it (so what else is new) from the Big Kahoona in Quito.  Our rep spent all day Thursday and Friday in Quito, rallying for all three American families to be issued their letters.  We need that letter to take with us to the Embassy in Guayaquil to complete the process for his Visa.  Presumably, we should have received our letters on Friday.

Luckilly, we have a few days cushion before our flight home.  In theory, this should all work out.  The reality isn't always the same.  Wish us luck, and those of you who pray, please pray for our return home on Friday.

Much Love,
Lisandra.

Ando!

I love it!  We haven't been able to come up with a nickname for Alejandro.  Alex just doesn't seem to fit him.  And he definitely doesn't look to me like what Jim wanted to call him (sorry honey ;-D ).  Jim had the honor of choosing his given name, Alejandro, which BTW, I think is a very handsome name for a very handsome boy. 

I wanted to find a nickname that worked with his given name and still fit with his hispanic heritage.  Someone here suggested "Ando".  It fits!  I wouldn't have come up with that one. 

Sorry honey, he's already answering to it!  Love you!!! See you soon!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Day 41, A Wonderfully Fabulous Day

Oh my gosh, but what a beautifully fabulous day, and it's only half over. The weather is gorgeous, about 72 degrees. Yesterday, we went to get Alejandro's Ecuadorian identity card changed to his new last name. Come to find out, no one EVER changes a minor's name on the card in Cuenca, usually only women who marry and change their name. Makes sense. The office had to call the main office in Quito to fly over the appropriate forms on the noon flight so we could get this done. They called our rep at 1:30 to say it was in, and off we were after Annie came home from school at 2pm.

The rep had gone ahead at 1:30pm with Alejandro to the office to get started on the process. She had a 5:30 pm flight booked to Quito so she can complete what process is necessary for us there. She absolutely needed certified color copies of the identity card to take with her. Apparently, there is a Dragon Lady there too, and I did not hear that from the rep, for the record. Fortunately, I don't have to go. She's going to fend that one for me. How do you thank a person like this that does so much for the good of your family? I certainly don't know.

One hour later, we were out of there with the new card, handsome picture inserted and tiny figerprint in the "signature" box. Next, to the Notary Public to complete the "Permission to Leave the Country With a Minor" form. Another hour later, we were out of there and in the middle of Historical Cuenca, a beautiful part of the city. I knew the choice spot for ice cream was and that was our next stop. Annie had been so patient waiting through all this, at least, as patient as a five year old could be. Thank goodness I always pack snacks in my bag, no matter how long or short I think a day will be.

Next, we walked around Parque Calderon, a beautiul square in the center of town. The kids picked flowers, chased birds, awed at dogs, and ran their sillies off. Cab ride home, because although it's about a mile and a half, it would feel like 20 miles carrying a hefty two year old. I love riding in the car in the city. I always enjoy seeing it that way. I wish I had a car here, but without the crazy traffic. Too much to ask?

Today, the second attorney here, the one that represented us at the Audiencia with the judge, picked us up at 7:45 after Annie was off to school...which BTW, she's in trouble...according to my neighbor, she left this morning with a man in a "white SUV" to school. Now, the bus driver owns a white SUV and the bus looks to be on it's last legs, so he could have picked up the kids that way instead. The bus was already 25 minutes late so it was possible. Also, a mom of one of Annie's classmates owns a white SUV and has dropped her daughter off to the front of our apartment so she can pick up the bus with Annie. ??? SO WHO THE H--- DID MY BABY LEAVE WITH THIS MORNING???

I was forced to give it 10 minutes and then call the school to ask, "WTF???". The office lady immediately went to get Annie and within seconds had Annie on the phone for me.

Sooooooo, except for the 10 minutes of sheer terror, IT'S BEEN A BEAUTIFULLY WONDERFUL DAY :-D

Ok, back to the good parts...Immigration office for the passport...soooooo damn happy that the reps know their way around these offices and the beaurocracy. We were first in line, first to be attended, first out of there...again, with cute picture inserted and tiny fingerprint for the signature.

We're done in Cuenca! I'm not sure who was more excited, the rep or me. He was genuinely so happy to see our process here come to an end, and Alejandro go to a good home. He immediately called our primary rep to tell her we were done. She's in Quito as I said, although she lives in Cuenca. She spends a lot of time away from her own family, to help the families of others.

And now for the highlight of my day!!! I'm so excited I don't know where to begin..paused 'cause I couldn't even type...As I mentioned very early in my lengthy blog posts that some of Alejandro's housemates also already had families that were in the process and soon to pick them up. I was elated, and yet sadenned. Elated that some of those beautiful children were also going to have a family soon, and sadenned because Alejandro would likely never see them again.

I asked the social worker at OSSO how would it be possible to be in touch with the other families. I told her to please give my contact info to any of the families that came to pick up their children, if they were interested at all. These kids were Alejandro's first brothers and sisters and who would have the heart to keep them apart, if there were ways possible to know eachother in the future? Certainly, not I.

As we were driving down the street from Immigration, we drove by a famiy that struck my eye. They caught my attention because the parents were very blonde, and the child was, obviously, not. He looked like my handsome little guy. So I said to the attorney/rep and his secretary in the car, "Hey, that was an adoptive family too. What are the chances of that?". Our car stopped for a light and I kept peering my head out the window, to the point of a neck cramp to take a look at the cute little guy. I can't pass one up. Fortunately, it was a long light, and I recognized that it was "JA" , one of Alejandro's house mates!!! I started yelling, "Hola JA" which of course got his parent's attention. "HOLA!!!! Aqui esta Alejandro!!! Hola!!!" I waved Alejandro's hand for him, because he had no idea what was going on. The couple recognized the rep (he's their rep too, although they are a family from Italy). They caught on and started waving back and blowing kisses! JA recognized Alejandro and was notably very excited to see him. It was so amazing!

I'm sorry, but what are the chances that they would be on that street, at that moment, where I would notice them? Those of you who know me well know I have a very strong faith in God. This was his hand at work. I had wished and prayed for them, and there they were. Thank you God for loving me, and most importantly, loving my son.

I gave the rep my contact info and asked the rep to give it to them when he next saw them. He gave me their cell phone number...they're not too polititcally correct about that kind of thing here. I called them and they were equally as exctied to hear from me as I was to speak with them. We agreed to meet midmorning at Parque de las Madres (Mother's Park). HOW BEAUTIFUL!

I recognized them instantly, as they were the only other couple with a stroller. Women here carry their children everywhere, for very long distances. Strollers are considered too expensive. I must be seen as whimp because I don't carry my 27 pound two year old for miles at a time. Sometimes, ok, frequently, you see the mom with the child in a sling on her back, then carrying full gigantic bags or baskets in her hands. They all walk with a hunch, and walk very fast. I LOVE my $15, el cheapo umbrella stroller. It's not always easy to use on the cobblestone streets of Cuenca, but it's always easier to use than not. It's also handy for hanging market bags full of fruits and vegetables. But, I digress...

We, the adults, had a wonderful get together. Somewhere between the moderate amount of Spanish they spoke, and the small amount of Italian I remember from being stationed in Aviano for three years, we had a spectacular time. I don't know if you call it "Itangnol" or "Spataliano", but you get the picture. God is good.

Alejandro was none-too-happy to see his little buddy. I don't get it. JA was thrilled to see Alejandro, but not the other way around. My little guy really withdraws when I interact with people he doesn't know. He fluorishes with the people he's gotten to know, like our neighbors and the staff here though. That's promising. It just takes him time. Jim and I always say, "I hate to wish my life away, but...", but I would love to fast forward to one year from now. It's a passing feeling.

I showed them to lunch at the nearby Millenium Mall. They were so interested in keeping in touch with us, that I knew, this had to be the hand of God. We shopped for some presents and caught two cabs home. Alejandro then cried as soon as their cab pulled away. I felt so sorry. It broke my heart, as I'm sure it did his. He actually did want to be near his friend, he just hadn't shown it until then. Ohhhhh.

Well, I didn't mean to put a damper of an end to a beautifully wonderful day. My darling daughter is home right now, and was just in time to speak to Daddy via skype. I'm so lucky. Really.

Life is Good.

Love,

Lisandra

Monday, March 1, 2010

A Mother's Prayer by Mary A. Loberg.

A Mother's Prayer




Help me dear Lord, as a mother, I pray

And bless these hands folded in prayer today;

May they be ever strong as they guide, as they teach,

Being never too far for a child to reach.

May they never, with selfishness, try to dissuade,

Nor too quickly punish, nor too slowly aid.

May they point out the pleasures in laughter and song,

And may they show, wisely, the right from the wrong,

So that one day I'll know that I've helped all I can

To make her a woman, to make him a man.

Amen

Day 38- On the Downhill Slide

Yesterday morning I had the best wake-up in as long as I can remember. I had asked Annie if she could play a video and play with Alex in the morning so I could get a few extra minutes of rest. I burn the candle at both ends most nights.

At about 7am, I heard my bedroom door open and then close again. So, I kept one ear awake. After about an hour, I feel a cold little nose on my cheek. Annie was waking me up the way I do her most mornings...with tons of little kisses. It was so awesome. She said, "Mommy, I helped the baby go pee-pee, and I got us two slices of cheese for breakfast, but I can't reach anything else and we're hungry." Well, how could I be mad about that?

The day was gloomy, so we spent it at the mall arcade and moon bounces with her buddy's family from next door. After we were back home, Alex found a box that I received a package in. He sat in it and smiled a huge smile and motioned to be pushed. He knows the box game! It's fun to learn about what he likes and what makes him happy. He and Annie went on to play for an hour with the box, pushing eachother around.


We've had our challenges too this weekend. Annie tries to help him and keep him from getting into things he shouldn't. What he hasn't figured out yet, is that Annie speaks. His housemates at the children's home didn't. He usually waits until I am out of site, and then hits Annie, pinches her or pulls her pig tails. Yesterday, he had my cell phone in his hands. Annie told him it wasn't a toy and he shouldn't have it. I heard the conversation and came in the room to take the phone away. He waited until I was out of the room, then hit Annie. I've told her to come tell me immediately about that kind of behavior so that we can work on correcting it. I don't tolerate it and I don't think Annie needs to either. I scolded him and put him in time-out in his bed. He's used to time-out, I saw the Tia's do it at the home. After, he goes over to Annie and hugs her to "apologize". Hopefully, this will get better.

Today I received some relatively good news. Not only do I not have to go to Quito, but I don't have to go to Sta. Isabella to get his birth certificate either. The storms here have been pretty bad lately, and I suspect they're even worse on the mountain roads. I was going to ask my neighbor to watch Annie after school if we weren't home yet, but the rep is concerned that we may delayed due to washed out roads or something. For the same reason, it's not good to take her with us. The rep called the birth registrar office and received permission to just take a Power of Attorney from me to get the certificate. Great! It's about a two hour drive there and a long wait for the certificate, with a two year old. Not to mention, I would be worried about Annie back here without me. I can't help it. This works out better for everyone, probably even the rep. I'm sure it's easier for her not to have us along with the worries.

Lisandra